Sunday, 9 May 2010

Managing humans: Lesson 1

Start the day purposefully.

Always make sure your human gets up at a reasonable time, even on Sundays. Your breakfast depends on this rule.

The dog wants me to add that so does the successful management of a dog's bodily functions.

This means that we have to get up first. The dog prefers to wait in bed while we organise things. She's an idle blighter too.

Humans are, by nature, lazy and slow. Like us, they love to sleep, and can spend hours doing it, but once they get up, they stay sluggish, and need to do so many things before they are truly awake and alert. Not like us in the least!

In order to get your human to a state where getting up is possible, gentle but persistent waking is essential. We send Lottie in first. She has patience and tenacity. She advances carefully.

She purrs loudly, meaningfully. This reassures the foggy-brained human.

She also has big paws, with a tiny hint of sharp claw.

Then the rest of us advance. Humans crumble under a united front. Success is ours!

A couple of yawns and we're ready for anything - bed-making, bird-watching, duvet-pouncing, then breakfast and a little stroll out of doors.

Lottie likes to do her Victory Roll.

And then we can all troop downstairs, tails aloft.

The human is still grumping around in a tatty old dressing gown, trying to find the switch for the kettle, bumping into us, muttering about  harassment, and we have accomplished much.

Management by Committee. It works for us.


  1. Oh! Splendid strategy! Just one thing: could you edit the photo that shows the time (7.22) on the clock, please? You see, we are 5 am. risers and if The Secretary sees this...well,it will not be pleasant!
    (And she has been "very cross" for another reason already!)

  2. ahhh .... and what a lovely belly it tis

    I myself prefer the kneading and tromping in place on the humans fleshy belly method - all the while purring so loud the neighbours surely are also awake.

    your friend,
    Gussie Gus

  3. OMG ... being a connoisseur of the finest seafood I LOVE, love, l-0-v-e- the stylized fish bone pattern and colours of blog. tres chic !


  4. Ahead of you there, chaps. I have food and milk that I can nibble at any time, day or night. They can't bear the thought of me being hungry at all. Is it guilt or gratitude for all that we do for them, that's the thing?

    I'm not allowed on the bed though - that does look FUN!


    (work verification is "layse". Us?)

  5. We feel we should admit that getting the human out of bed and down to do breakfast doesn't actually involve a breakfast, as we have dry food available at all times. We just like to exert our power and control, that's all.....

    The Cats via the Typist

  6. Power and control; that pretty much sums up the thinking of my lot who start pounding on the bedroom door as soon as they hear me roll over in bed. Mind you, that could be as early as 4 am.

    I still get the last laugh in as I don't give them the satisfaction of getting up until after 7. What they don't know is that I wear earplugs and so can ignore them. . .

  7. You kitties have it all figured out. We silly humans don't have a chance!

  8. Miaou miaou miaou from Cassie and Sirius.