Dog and cat love

I love Florence.

We like to say hello to each other. I'm trying to teach her to purr.

She's a slow learner.

I check on her sore toe. Looks like it's getting better.

I give her little licks, to encourage her to wash more often. Dogs aren't as keen on personal hygiene as we cats are.

That's why they smell.

And then I wash myself.

I'm a good role model.

And I don't want to smell of dog either.

For Estorbo, with disbelief

We should be used to the bizarre tastes of humans, Estorbo, but this one really takes the cat biscuit.

I was just sitting minding my own business, when Rachel switched on the tv and showed me something very weird.....

I just had to watch, up close and for a long time too, to make sure I wasn't imagining it. My eyes nearly went square.

You're not going to believe this, but here they watch a show every year where they get hundreds - yes, hundreds! - of ugly d.a.w.g.s together, and make them run about. They talk about their legs, and their heads, and their topline, whatever that is, and their stride, and then they line up the ones they like best - usually the really big ugly ones - and pick a winner. Fancy getting a prize for being big and ugly!

You can just imagine the smell.....



And everyone cheers, and whistles, and claps their hands. Some of those d.a.w.g.s have come from America, so I know you have crazy people there too.

Cats wouldn't put up with such a vulgar carry-on.

I'm so glad I wasn't born a d.a.w.g.

Tears before bedtime

There we were, just settling down comfortably for the night, when Flossie came in and saw us. She didn't want to share her bed with us, apparently, but went next door and whined at Rachel, who came to see what was the matter.

For once, Rachel was sensible. "Just get in with them, Floss!" she said. "Plenty of room for you all!"

But Scooter got out; he didn't like to see Flossie upset.

(Scooter: "and I didn't want to be squashed by her either...")

I stayed put. What was her problem?

Later, Flossie tried to make a point about our own beds.

She fails to grasp that there is no Hers and Ours in this house.

There is only Ours and Ours.

Just as it should be.

Here, kitty kitty!

No thanks. Tried it before, didn't like it.

Handsome is...

...as Handsome does.

I do very well, thank you. Flossie's red throw is cosy.

You can have it back later, Flossie. Stop moping.

Hypothesis

They are strange creatures, humans. They like to get wet, for a start, and they even have a special room to get wet in; the bathroom.

In the bathroom, Rachel left this on a little dish beside the bath. She keeps saying it's nearly finished, and that she must buy a new one. We looked at that little dish with interest.

Sometimes Rachel leaves tasty morsels lying around on little dishes. This one looked a bit like cheese.

We decided to conduct a scientific experiment, and taste it.

Big mistake this time. Nasty! And definitely not cheese!

Rachel found a little bit that we spat out, lying on the floor. She laughed a lot, and thought of this:



We decided not to say which of us conducted the experiment; cats don't like to be laughed at.

And anyway, it might have been cheese; we have to take risks in the name of Science, you know.

Unrequited

Scooter: Lottie, I lurve you. Be my Valentine!

Lottie: Gerroff!

Scooter: Is it my breath?

Lottie: My mother warned me about boys like that. Pushy types.