Tuesday 7 June 2011

A prisoner's tale


I have been the victim of a terrible miscarriage of justice.

I have been accused of an offence against the State*.

I have been arrested in a brutal fashion**, and imprisoned in a crate.



And Rachel the Merciless drove the prison van and took me to a place that every cat dreads: The Pets Penitentiary Veterinary Surgery***.

The evil vet dragged me out of the crate. Needles were stuck in me. The words 'crystals' and 'cystitis' were used. Are they trumped-up charges against me?****

Comments were made about how I smelled. Rachel said that she now smelled like me.

After being stabbed by the evil vet, I was shoved back into the prison crate, and put back into the van. Rachel listened to Woman's Hour on the way home, where a young woman spoke of being imprisoned in the Middle East. Rachel said I should stop crying and count myself lucky. The callousness of that woman!

When I was returned home, I cried piteously. My friends came to visit, and to plead for my release.



And only then would Rachel let me out. My own cries had fallen on deaf ears and a hard heart, but Lottie and Florence succeeded in my appeal against false imprisonment.

I intend to sell my story to the press.

Rachel says:


* small dark drops of wee around the house since yesterday, coinciding with Scooter's jumps on and off furniture and surfaces. Definitely not spraying, more like leaking due to discomfort.


** a fairly traumatic chasing round room of crying, frightened cat, with accompanying tell-tale trail of aforementioned dark and malodorous wee over furniture and carpet. And on me as he was wedged carefully into the travel basket.


*** the surgery where I had taken a small sample of aforementioned etc yesterday for testing, and where urinary crystals were seen clearly through the vet's microscope. (I hadn't looked through a microscope in years.)


**** painkillers and long-lasting antibiotics administered for this most unpleasant condition for anyone's bladder, feline or human.


And then home to shampoo carpets and chairs, wash my clothes, and give Scooter little treats to compensate for his ordeal. Merciless, me? Ha!

12 comments:

  1. You must have the cleanest carpets in Newcastle.(but never, it seems, for long!).

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  2. Poor, pitiful Scooter, I hope you're better soon. You're in good hands, so ease up on the drama.

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  3. Ooh, how on earth do you manage to produce such a brilliant blog post whilst dealing with such difficulties as this? Poor Scooter. Does this mean no dried food for him any more?

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  4. Poor Scooter! But surely you will less - er - uncomfortable now? Oliver, one of my two cats is prone to struvites in the bladder & has to eat special diet of crystal-busting pellets to keep him well. He does supplement his diet with the occassional mouse - perhaps you could go hunting with Millie?

    And you are in good company making a fuss about the V.E.T.S. - my big fearless, handsome Oliver cries like a weedy girlie when in the cat box.

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  5. Ah Scooter, my deepest sympathy for you, however I must applaud Rachel. I was "gifted" with my present cat, who I was told was allergic to seafood - and I was given the horror story of collecting urine from an unwilling cat. After almost 10 years I have come to the conclusion that he is not allergic to seafood, but that he was unwilling to share his water bowl or that it was not clean enough. (He was given seafood after I was "gifted" with him, and had no reaction.) So I think that he just didn't drink enough, as he does like water.
    After I was told that he had been fed seafood I was in a panic because I didn't want to have to watch him to try and collect a urine sample. Fortunately I never had to do so! Yeah!
    - Step mom to Constantino Martinez

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  6. Oh I had this happen with one of my cats. We had to change his diet to very expensive food that we buy from the Vet.....he hates it but he eats it because he's hungry...poor thing. Poor Scooter:(

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  7. It all sounds most uncomfortable .... for all parties concerned .
    Someone close to me ( Very Close ) is awaiting an operation for something similar , but luckily , since he is too large for a travel basket/cat cage , is reliably house-trained still . He says he wouldn't count on it if the waiting list doesn't get shorter very soon .
    A swift recovery to Scooter !!

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  8. Poor Scooter - hope he is better soon and can enjoy his treats.

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  9. WATER, my little black and white friend, water!

    Listen to me - this was Don Es's bane. For years! Every 6-8 months, crystals, pain, vet, blockage, trauma, money.

    Then water. His dry pellets bob up and down in the water twice a day, every day, he drinks, he eats. He pees. He is cured, Day in, day out.

    Water, my little friend,

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  10. Rachel - I'm serious about the agua - I feel like an evangelist. Estorbo had this when I got him (approx 1)and it took me years to figure this simple cure.

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  11. Scooter, it just isn't fair, is it? You have an empathetic friend here; his name is Tiger, and he went through similar torture and imprisonment last year (or was it too years ago?). Anyway, he is feeling fine now. (He had to have the P.U. surgery and stay in the hospital for a week!) And when he got home, all his other kitty friends hissed at him because he smelled different! (It's all fine now, though.)

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  12. How is Scooter feeling? We fans of The Team would like an update, if possible.. no rush we know you're busy!

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