Tragedy at the gates

Look at these dogs! They are always chewing.

Rachel, who was brought up to regard chewing gum as one of the works of the devil, seems to encourage them. "Good girls!" she says. "Here, have a chew." Her standards have gone downhill recently; only we cats maintain a degree of refinement and decorum.

The big one is gnawing at a fake bone. When she's bored with it she'll move on to the other gross things that she leaves lying about everywhere.

The little one is just as bad. You'd think that with only 7 teeth she wouldn't bother, but no - she chews too. Noisily. Slurpy-slurp.

And you know what that is, the horrible thing she's chewing? Dead skin.

"A hide dog chew" it's called, but we know dead skin when we see it. No fur, no little ears, no nice dangly tail. Just skin.

Dogs are barbarians, and here in this house we are witnessing the end of civilisation.

It's quite tragic.